{"id":8415,"date":"2026-07-10T21:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-07-10T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/?p=8415"},"modified":"2026-06-21T05:19:13","modified_gmt":"2026-06-20T20:19:13","slug":"baris-noah-episode-20-first-departure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/baris-noah-episode-20-first-departure\/","title":{"rendered":"20B\u00f6l\u00fcm\u3000Ankara Otogar\u0131nda At\u0131lan \u0130lk Ad\u0131m\uff5cS\u00f6ze D\u00f6k\u00fclemeyen Bir Ayr\u0131l\u0131\u015f Karar\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u0130nsan, karar verdi\u011fi anda y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flamaz.
Bazen y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flad\u0131ktan sonra, ancak o zaman karar\u0131n\u0131n neye benzedi\u011fini anlar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ankara otogar\u0131, sabahla \u00f6\u011fle aras\u0131nda as\u0131l\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015f bir \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde, \u00e7oktan g\u00fcn\u00fcn ak\u0131\u015f\u0131na girmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Y\u00fcksek tavana \u00e7arp\u0131p yay\u0131lan anonslar.
Lastiklerin yere s\u00fcrt\u00fcnerek \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 o al\u00e7ak ses.
Hareket etmeyi bekleyen otob\u00fcslerin motoru, g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcn i\u00e7 taraf\u0131na kadar ula\u015fan bir titre\u015fim b\u0131rak\u0131yordu.
B\u00fcfeden simitin s\u0131cak kokusu yay\u0131l\u0131yor, karton bardaklardaki \u00e7ay\u0131n ince buhar\u0131 y\u00fckseliyordu.
\u0130nsan \u00e7oktu ama kimse ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7indeki teredd\u00fcd\u00fc fark etmiyordu.
\u00c7ekilen valizlerin sesi, vedala\u015f\u0131rken yap\u0131lan k\u0131sa sar\u0131lmalar, biletleri kontrol eden parmaklar.
Orada olan \u015fey, s\u0131radan gidi\u015flerden ibaretti.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Morning
The city was already moving before he understood he was leaving it behind.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Bar\u0131\u015f, o ak\u0131\u015f\u0131n kenar\u0131nda duruyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Buraya gelene kadar ge\u00e7ti\u011fi yolu, zihninde defalarca yeniden y\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0131z\u0131lay\u2019da durup,
Ulus\u2019ta ge\u00e7mi\u015fin kokusunu i\u00e7ine \u00e7ekip,
evin \u00f6n\u00fcnde, babas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda durmu\u015f olabilecek bir k\u00f6pe\u011fin g\u00f6lgesini hat\u0131rlay\u0131p,
Hamam\u00f6n\u00fc\u2019nde \u201c\u00e7a\u011fr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir y\u00fcz\u201d oldu\u011fu s\u00f6ylenmi\u015fti ona,
sonra y\u00fcksek bir yerden Ankara\u2019n\u0131n tamam\u0131na bakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On dokuz b\u00f6l\u00fcm boyunca s\u00fcren o karars\u0131zl\u0131k, hen\u00fcz \u201ckarar\u201d diye adland\u0131r\u0131lamadan, bedeninde birikmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Elinde katlanm\u0131\u015f bir harita vard\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Babas\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ekmecesinde buldu\u011fu o harita.
Defalarca katlanm\u0131\u015f, defalarca a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, ama en \u00f6nemli \u015feyin\u2014gidece\u011fi yerin\u2014yaz\u0131lmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir harita.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 elinde tutarken, babas\u0131n\u0131n ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc h\u00e2l\u00e2 bilmiyordu.
Ama o d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncenin a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131, sanki k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131n i\u00e7inden ge\u00e7ip ona ula\u015f\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neden gitti\u011fini, birine d\u00fczg\u00fcn bir \u015fekilde anlatamazd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bunun babas\u0131 i\u00e7in oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemek erkendi.
Onu h\u00e2l\u00e2 yeterince tan\u0131m\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kendisi i\u00e7in oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemekse belirsizdi.
Ne arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kendisi de bilmiyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir k\u00f6pe\u011fin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcnden oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylese\u2026
kendi kula\u011f\u0131na bile biraz tuhaf gelirdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama yine de bir \u015fey kesindi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ankara\u2019da kal\u0131p, hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi anlamadan ayn\u0131 sabahlar\u0131 tekrar etmek\u2014
art\u0131k daha tuhaf geliyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu, on dokuzuncu b\u00f6l\u00fcmde o tepede fark etti\u011fi \u015feyin ayn\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gitme nedenini h\u00e2l\u00e2 s\u00f6yleyemiyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama burada kalma nedenini de art\u0131k s\u00f6yleyemiyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bar\u0131\u015f ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p elektronik panoya bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015eehir isimleri s\u0131ralan\u0131yordu.
Saatler. Peron numaralar\u0131. Gecikmeler.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bunlar\u0131n hepsi herkesin anlayabilece\u011fi, a\u00e7\u0131k ve ger\u00e7ek kelimelerdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama onun g\u00f6zleri, o kelimelerin \u00f6tesinde,
hen\u00fcz yaz\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f bir \u015feyi ar\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tam o s\u0131rada\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Solunda, bir s\u00fctunun g\u00f6lgesine yak\u0131n bir yerde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130nsan dizinin hizas\u0131nda, al\u00e7ak bir yerde, bir g\u00f6lge duruyor gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Bar\u0131\u015f
Sometimes the moment before leaving feels louder than the journey itself.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Siyaha yak\u0131n de\u011fildi.
I\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n oyunu denip ge\u00e7ilebilecek kadar belirsizdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama y\u00fcksekli\u011fi\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daha \u00f6nce defalarca hissetti\u011fi o varl\u0131kla ayn\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bar\u0131\u015f nefesini tuttu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ne birinin e\u015fyas\u0131yd\u0131.
Ne de bir \u00e7ocuk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

G\u00f6lge bir an oradayd\u0131,
sonra hareket eden bacaklar\u0131n ve \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n aras\u0131na kar\u0131\u015f\u0131p kayboldu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ayn\u0131 anda, metalin metale hafif\u00e7e de\u011fdi\u011fi bir ses duyuldu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tasma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu kelime yine zihninden \u00f6nce bedenine d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu kez d\u00f6nd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bakmak istedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama orada sadece gazetesini katlayan orta ya\u015fl\u0131 bir adam vard\u0131.
Bir k\u00f6pe\u011fe dair hi\u00e7bir iz yoktu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130sterse h\u00e2l\u00e2 \u00f6yle diyebilirdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama art\u0131k de\u011fil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Evin \u00f6n\u00fcnde de.
Hamam\u00f6n\u00fc\u2019nde de.
Tepede de.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ve \u015fimdi, tam gitmeden \u00f6nce, burada da.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ayn\u0131 y\u00fckseklik.
Ayn\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131klanamayan ses.
Sadece s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131n derinlerinde kalan o ayn\u0131 his.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tesad\u00fcf demek i\u00e7in fazla fazlayd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bar\u0131\u015f b\u00fcfenin yan\u0131na \u00e7ekilip haritay\u0131 tekrar a\u00e7t\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Defalarca bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7izgiler.
Ankara\u2019dan d\u0131\u015far\u0131 uzanan ince yol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dczerinde az say\u0131da yer ismi vard\u0131.
Ama bo\u015fluklar, yaz\u0131l\u0131 olanlardan daha fazla \u015fey anlat\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O s\u0131rada, kat yerlerinden birinin i\u00e7inde, daha \u00f6nce fark etmedi\u011fi soluk bir iz g\u00f6rd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Belki \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131.
Belki parmaklar\u0131n bask\u0131s\u0131yla silinmeye y\u00fcz tutmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131n liflerinin aras\u0131nda, neredeyse g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyecek kadar ince bir iz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Orada tek bir kelime kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cba\u015fla\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n

\n
\"Bar\u0131\u015f
Some journeys begin before the first step is taken.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Bar\u0131\u015f g\u00f6zlerini k\u0131st\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yaz\u0131 net de\u011fildi.
Yan\u0131l\u0131yor da olabilirdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama okuyabiliyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ba\u015fla.
Ba\u015flamak.
Yola \u00e7\u0131kmak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu, kan\u0131t say\u0131lacak bir \u015fey de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama o kelimenin tam bu anda, haritan\u0131n i\u00e7inden ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131\u2014
i\u00e7inde a\u011f\u0131r bir yere oturdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bunu babas\u0131 m\u0131 yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131, bilmiyordu.
Ne zaman yaz\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama \u015fu an i\u00e7in bu yeterliydi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On dokuz b\u00f6l\u00fcm boyunca biriken o huzursuzluk,
ilk kez \u201cgitmekten ba\u015fka yol yok\u201da benzeyen bir \u015fekle girdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ger\u00e7e\u011fi bilmek istiyordu.
Babas\u0131n\u0131 anlamak.
O k\u00f6pe\u011fin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 do\u011frulamak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hepsi vard\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama hepsinden daha derinde\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Ba\u015flamazsa, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bitmeyecekti.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Bu duygu, sonunda bir c\u00fcmleye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bar\u0131\u015f haritay\u0131 katlay\u0131p cebine koydu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00fczdan\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Bar\u0131\u015f
Some decisions become real only after they are spoken aloud.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Bilet gi\u015fesindeki s\u0131ra uzun de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beklerken bile i\u00e7i tam olarak durulmad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ger\u00e7ekten do\u011fru mu bu?
Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bulamazsa ne olacak?
Sadece yorulup geri mi d\u00f6necek?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama bu bile sorun de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bulamamak bile, gidip g\u00f6r\u00fclmesi gereken bir \u015feydi.
Yoksa i\u00e7inde kapanmayacakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0131ra ilerledi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gi\u0219edeki g\u00f6revli ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cNereye?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Bar\u0131\u015f bir an sustu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u00f6ylemesi gereken yer ad\u0131, hen\u00fcz i\u00e7inde tam kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k bulmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama bir sonraki anda, s\u00f6yledi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sesi bekledi\u011finden daha sakindi.
Titremiyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckt\u00fc.
Ama geri al\u0131namazd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bileti eline ald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131n inceli\u011fi onu \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

B\u00f6ylesine hafif bir \u015feyle,
insan bir \u015fehri terk edebiliyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On dokuz b\u00f6l\u00fcm s\u00fcren teredd\u00fctten daha hafifti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama tam da bu y\u00fczden, ger\u00e7ekti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bar\u0131\u015f perona do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Otob\u00fcs\u00fcn camlar\u0131nda, sabahla \u00f6\u011fle aras\u0131ndaki o beyaz \u0131\u015f\u0131k yans\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Binen insanlar\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcnde, bunun \u00f6zel bir an oldu\u011funa dair bir iz yoktu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gidi\u015f, d\u00fcnya i\u00e7in neredeyse hi\u00e7bir zaman b\u00fcy\u00fck bir olay de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Basama\u011f\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde, aya\u011f\u0131 bir an durdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu ad\u0131m\u0131 att\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, Ankara taraf\u0131nda duran hali,
yava\u015f yava\u015f d\u00fcn\u00fcn taraf\u0131na kayacakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Annesi.
Deniz.
Kap\u0131daki iz.
Ulus\u2019taki ya\u015fl\u0131 adam.
Hamam\u00f6n\u00fc\u2019n\u00fcn sessizli\u011fi.
Tepedeki r\u00fczg\u00e2r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hepsi arkas\u0131na ge\u00e7ecekti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama yok olmayacakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hepsini ta\u015f\u0131yarak ilerleyece\u011fini, art\u0131k biliyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O anda, ayaklar\u0131n\u0131n dibinde ince bir r\u00fczg\u00e2r d\u00f6nd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Otogar\u0131n i\u00e7indeydi ama,
y\u00fcksek bir yerde hissetti\u011fi o r\u00fczg\u00e2ra benziyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130nce. Kesin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ve bini\u015f kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6lgesinde, bir anl\u0131\u011f\u0131na yine al\u00e7ak bir g\u00f6lge ge\u00e7ti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu kez d\u00f6nmedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bakmas\u0131na gerek yoktu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zaten onun olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamak i\u00e7in gidiyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bar\u0131\u015f otob\u00fcs\u00fcn ilk basama\u011f\u0131na aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 koydu.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Bar\u0131\u015f
He still did not know the reason. But he had already begun walking.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Nedenlerini h\u00e2l\u00e2 tam bilmiyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama gidiyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Att\u0131\u011f\u0131 ad\u0131m d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden daha sessizdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama i\u00e7indeki ses\u2014
on dokuz b\u00f6l\u00fcm boyunca s\u00fcren teredd\u00fctten \u00e7ok daha kesindi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bar\u0131\u015f, Ankara otogar\u0131nda bir bileti eline ald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, art\u0131k geri d\u00f6nemeyece\u011fini hisseder. Sessiz bir g\u00f6lge, eski bir harita ve tek bir kelime onu bilinmeyen bir yolculu\u011fa \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131r.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9743,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"swell_btn_cv_data":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[992,988],"tags":[1380,1030,1355,1358,1359,1353,1237,1357,1319,1361,1354,1065],"class_list":["post-8415","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-baris-noah","category-story","tag-ankara","tag-baris-ve-noah","tag-baslangic","tag-bus-terminal","tag-first-step","tag-harita","tag-invisible-road","tag-journey","tag-kopegin-golgesi","tag-map","tag-otogar","tag-sessiz-hikaye"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8415","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8415"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8415\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10036,"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8415\/revisions\/10036"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9743"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worldwatch.tokyo\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}